Personal reflections on community music performance
Performance
can be good but sometimes presents dangers too. Some very personal and
meandering thoughts here on the benefits and drawbacks of performance
and bringing different community choirs together to sing as one.
Acceptance
Performance
in community music settings is for some of us framed within a model
of acceptance. Acceptance that not all will want to perform and that
others might simply not be available for rehearsals and indeed for the
night of a performance, often at short notice.
This
accepting, open, human, warm framework celebrates the truth that no
pressure is ever placed upon singers to be available. Whilst this perhaps
places specific restrictions upon the technical quality and quantity
of music that should be realistically expected of a community choir
in a performance setting it does mean that our singers are free to dip
in and out of their music making as family and work responsibilities
permit, without feelings of guilt or the judgement of others.
In
a world where we seem to be forever at the beck and call of the expectation
of others, this is perhaps a powerful concept indeed. It might be one
of few spaces available to us where we can really relax and just be
ourselves;
without feeling that someone somewhere is going to have a pop at us
for not arriving on time, singing 'in tune' (whatever that means) or
just deciding that we need a night on the couch because we're very tired
after work.
Exercise
the old grey matter
Performance
in community music keeps us on our toes and exercises the old grey matter
as we use both working and long term memory to remember harmonies and
arrangements. If learning new stuff then it exercises working memory
and builds confidence, if singing familiar stuff it exercises long term
memory and makes us feel part of a group, all remembering the same song,
again builds sense of security and confidence; gets the blood flowing
around the old computer; use it or lose it and all that. It pulls us
together, makes us feel part of a bigger protective tribe and offers
something different in the competitive world in which we live.
Competition
is everywhere
Music
has become part of this competitive culture with 'Gospel Choir of The
Year', The Voice, X Factor, Young Musician of the Year etc etc. One
alternative to this obsession with best and worse is choirs coming together
to sing as one. This is now a worldwide cultural phenomenon and offers
an alternative to the universal narrative of competitiveness which we
are perhaps sold day in day out by some (not all) of our leaders ; winners,
losers, best, worse, pass, fail, saved, doomed, good, bad.
Of
course we need standards.
Winners
and losers too.
But
perhaps there is a need for more relaxed spaces too.
Somewhere
we can just be ourselves, let our hair down.
Chill
out a bit.
And
cut ourselves a bit of slack.
Without
the worry that someone is going to have a pop at us.
Gospel
Choir of the Year
So
community music making is perhaps a part of a rather different philosophical
tradition that offers a brief respite from that constantly competitive
view of the world mentioned above.
Forgive
me for sharing this personal thought but the idea of a competition to
judge the 'best gospel choir' or the 'best soul choir' is for me perverse
indeed but the needs of television to appeal to a hungry audience desperate
for winners and losers wins the day I guess, very sadly.
Feeling
good about building a sense of community
So
maybe our 'coming together' provides something different.
Certainly
for those less confident it is a chance for us to sing in public and
enjoy the genuine appreciation of a supportive audience and yet at the
same time enjoy the protection of many others around us. If we mess
up it's no worries because our fellow singers are there for us and the
audience is on our side too (hopefully) and the massed voices offer
a redeeming blanket to cover our odd blip here and there.
Yes,
for some it can be a real tonic and help us feel good about ourselves,
what some call building 'self worth' and this is perhaps one of its
most profound potential benefits.
However
can I offer a thought that our 'self worth' should perhaps come from
knowing that we are playing a very small part in helping to build a
warm, rich and diverse community where people are allowed to think
differently about the world; a world that appears very different to
us all, depending upon our own life experience;
rather
than the 'self esteem' that accrues as the result of the shallow positive
reaction of an audience, so easily blown away when you have your first
duff gig, or are on the receiving end of damning criticism from a friend
or indeed a member of your own family.
Whether
this sense of 'feeling good' is securely rooted inside of us,
or rather the result of the shallow judgement of others is a
profound philosophical concept that has engaged the intellectual minds
of the great and the good for many centuries.
Something
for another time :)
Having
a good time - he-he !!
Above
all though, performance can be a load of fun and a great chance to sing
out loud and express ourselves through songs that we grow to love and
to be connected to, like a good friend. Finally it also gives our audience
a smashing evening of entertainment and even possibly increases reflection
on important global issues.
Judgement
and anxiety
If
you put your head above the parapet be prepared to be shot at. Some
who feel less confident will turn away from performance for the fear
of ridicule and exposure. We have lost singers permanently from some
of the choirs I run for this reason.
Just
because some of us are confident and happy to 'have a go' doesn't mean
we all are.
This
can relate to bad experiences in youth, sober truths about self worth
related to things like body image, age and gender even; also so called
singing ability which is, for some us at least, a totally subjective
and constructed concept, also the judgement of others in the past, thrown
out of the school choir, laughed at in the school play when we forgot
our lines; also anxiety and the need to avoid stressful situations for
other health related reasons.
If
you come to community singing groups to relieve anxiety why would you
enjoy singing in public with the potential for failure and judgement
? On that subject, and this is a sensitive issue, some family and friends
find themselves judging us without a second thought. This is just the
way it is and perhaps no one is to blame for this.
It
just is.
Our
families and friends love us and just want the best for us and sometimes
it's hard for them to apprciate that we need to find our own way in
life. In my own case I never invite family to performances because of
the guaranteed fault finding that will be offered to me. No one's to
blame, just the way it is and partly due to my own over sensitivity
to criticism for many different reasons. A slow journey indeed to a
better place.
Music
versus people
Creative
people are often very insecure, using the arts for self expression and
sometimes unconsciously as a way of trying to gain the approval and
love of others. Community choir leaders need to be careful to ensure
they are not pursuing performance for their own need for praise and
affirmation, particularly if life long ambitions of musical success
have not been achieved and they end up using their choirs as a vehicle
for their own unfulfilled aspirations.
This
is a universal danger in both auditioned and community choirs and requires
self awareness on the part of the leader to have a clear understanding
of what they are trying to achieve with their music making. This is
not an easy influence for anyone to avoid and most of us have made mistakes
in this department.
We're only human after all !!
This happens in families a lot as well as some parents totally innocently
pass on their own unfulfilled aspirations to their children and in so
doing can sometimes create unnecessary pressures on their loved ones
when all they really want is the best for them.
Different
forms of performance can be used to reduce the down sides - singing
in a bar or a cafe or just on the street to passers by, involving the
audience in singing and music making, so many different ways to use
music to bring us together without the stress of judgement and prejudice.